Monday, February 22, 2010

"I Will Always Have Hope..."

Just after beginning to hear some very encouraging news regarding Liberia's desire and actions to soon lift the moratorium on adoptions, we have a had another set-back, a serious one.

A situation took place a week or so ago involving an adoptive family of Liberian children that was inconceivable. It is so serious that the decision-makers in Liberia have once again stopped all progress, even in the few cases they were just beginning to process. This situation is all over their media, and is significantly affecting whatever comes next.

I don't even know how to write this, it's so terrible. A family in California were accused of beating their 7 year old adopted daughter to death, and her sister (also adopted) was beaten and ended up in the hospital. I don't know all the details, and the media can be so one-sided, that I don't trust that source for facts either, but it is apparent that this is tragic and wrong on every possible level. The eight other children have been moved into other homes, and the parents are now charged with murder and torture.

We know that this plays into the fears that we have fought so hard to dispel in Liberia... and it is heartbreaking. It is especially difficult because we felt so close to being able to move forward, and now, we are again in the position of having no idea what will happen with adoptions. One family, and their actions, could have a massive effect on adoptions in Liberia, and could be used to effect them negatively elsewhere also. The timing of it all is incredible. It's frustrating and maddening, and can only be the enemy at work.

I cried and cried after we found out about it as we were praying for the situation and how Liberia would handle it. It had been a while since my last good sob, and sometimes it is a release that is much needed. For some reason, at a certain point I remember watching tears fall to my lap, and make dark little spots on my jeans. The thought just came to me that God counts each tear... each one. He knows my heart, he knows this situation, and he knows the future.

God is not surprised or taken aback. He is steady and true and will guide us gently through whatever comes next. He always has. It's been heavy on us, but we are finding that the perseverance God has insisted we learn in the last two and a half years has taught us to hang on tight to Him, and so we are not hopeless.

I feel like our adoption journey is a saga... this thing just never ends, does it? But Kelvin and Hawa are safe and cared for in the meanwhile, and so I am incredibly thankful that during this long wait, they are not in the orphanage, but with a family.

I read this in Psalms this morning, and it lifts my spirits to know that I really do believe it. I don't just want to believe it, I actually do.
"But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure. " Ps. 71:14-15

God's brought this weak and selfish person to a place where I can really say those verses and mean them. He is good. You can trust Him.

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