Thursday, December 16, 2010


There has been a lot going on in my heart and in our adoption journey that I can't share here... mostly because of the fragility of the situation, and the nature of the country we're dealing with. That said, I do want to at least let people know that we covet your prayer right now, as always.

For whatever reason, there has been movement... and things have been accomplished that we did not at all expect anymore. We've always known that the Lord could accomplish this if it was his plan to do so, but we stopped assuming that we knew his plan, and began to accept that we would need to be content wherever and however this ends.

I thought it was "ended" as of several weeks ago, and I can say that I was choosing to be joyful looking toward the future, even without my Kelvin and Hawa here (after wrestling with it, and choosing to let my heart be corrected... certainly, it does not all come in a neat, tidy, perfect package for me...). Then, out of the blue, there is movement.

We are being very cautious about this news. We rejoice that God has allowed it!! I refuse to be so cynical that I can't give glory to God for HUGE obstacles being passed. To do that would be to allow fear of more disappointment to shackle me, and to steal the renown that God deserves in these circumstances. On the other hand, I sense that I need to be in a place of surrender. I need to remain content whether this moves us to a completed adoption or falls through to be nothing, as good news has so many times before.

So, it's a strange place to be. In moments, I'd like to flip out and scream with excitement over the possibilities!! In other moments, I have a deep realization of how fragile this is... how very insecure. But most of the time, I'm taking one moment at a time... thanking God for his goodness, no matter what comes, and asking him to guard my heart and mind unless and until he gives me full freedom to rejoice. If that happens... watch out! There will be a WHOLE lot of happy freaking-out going on!

We had planned to travel to Liberia this winter as a whole family. After much prayer and consideration, we still plan to go and spend a number of weeks serving in whatever ways are needed, and uniting our entire family for the first time. :) No matter what may come of this adoption thing, Anika and Asher deserve to meet the brother and sister of their hearts... and Kelvin and Hawa need to know how loved they really are. We know that if circumstances change, we will need to be flexible and just go with whatever God shows us to do.

Anyway, that's the best I can do. If God brings us to your hearts, please pray for his guidance to be clear to us... that we would walk on his paths, not turning to the right or left. Pray that we would be a blessing in Liberia to the many children and staff with the ACFI ministry. Pray that our time as a family would be sweet and meaningful as we parent through very difficult circumstances; as Anika and Asher experience a whole new culture, extreme weather and conditions, and as they spend time with Kelvin, Hawa, and the MANY kids who will want their love and attention... and as we parent Kelvin and Hawa with great difficulty understanding their words, and desire to love them well and impact their lives as much as we can in the short time that we get to be with them.

Many thanks to those of you who have lifted us up in prayer. We are grateful.

Monday, December 13, 2010


I sat at a Home-going service for a 9 year old girl today.

I couldn't help but to hold Anika and Asher extra close. I couldn't help but put myself in Malia's mother's shoes. I couldn't help but grieve over the pain and struggle Malia endured in her battle with cancer. I couldn't help but wonder why God did not answer the prayers of so many of his people in the way we had hoped.

He healed her though. He healed her more completely and more beautifully than any of us can imagine.

It is God's goodness that has held this family together. It is his grace that continues to carry them and protect them under his wings. It is his faithfulness that pours into them, and back out to those of us watching.

God is good. Malia's struggle is over. Her joy has been made complete.

Monday, December 6, 2010


God has been challenging me to praise him.
...without my own agenda,
...without my own pre-conceived ideas of how life should go, or lists of things I'd like in return,
... just to praise him for who he is and what he has done.

So, for the last several weeks, I've been trying to get my focus off of me and onto him alone.
He brought me to these passages throughout Psalm 66 just a few days ago. I just thought I'd share them since they're on my heart.

Shout with joy to God, all the earth! Sing the glory of his name; make his praise glorious! Say to God, "How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you. All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, they sing praise to your name."
Come and see what God has done, how awesome his works in man's behalf!
He turned the sea into dry land, they passed through the waters on foot-- come, let us rejoice in him. He rules forever by his power, his eyes watch the nations-- let not the rebellious rise up against him.
Praise our God, O peoples, let the sound of his praise be heard; he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping.

For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.

Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me.
I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue.
If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened;
but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer.
Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!